Quitting Alcohol
As a child, I began to notice that almost every social situation was accompanied by some magical social lubricant that I wasn’t allowed to touch until I was older. At first, I couldn’t understand why I had to be a certain age to drink, but I soon noticed that it changed people, some for better and others for worse. Most of the time it was a jovial occasion and so I grew impatient, I couldn’t wait to have my first drink.
It was the social norm to have your first drink at around sixteen, or your first approved of drink rather. There was always the excitement of stealing a beer when we were younger, passing it around and wincing at every sip. The novelty soon wore off and a new challenge arose, one that seemed to be stranger and yet socially accepted. The challenge was to “handle” your alcohol all while drinking far too much, and if you couldn’t, you were laughed at, and then you slept it off. Injury caused by intoxication was also a norm and even shrugged off or revered if the story was good enough.
New Year's Eve of 2019/2020 was the last time I had a drink and initially, this decision wasn’t out of choice. The incessant drinking and not giving my body a break led to the inevitable. Signs started to show when I was about twenty-one when my hangovers revolved around discomfort in my stomach. No one else was really experiencing hangovers this way and the discomfort was inconsistent, so I “sucked it up” and continued to drink. This led to a trip to the hospital, a camera down my throat and the diagnosis of gastritis. This was a few months before that new year and so I took a break, as instructed, but decided enough time had passed to give it another go. I just couldn’t turn down drinking with friends and the dreaded FOMO.
It’s easy to look back and see how unnecessary that all was, but at the moment, having a drink seemed to be very important. After that New Years Eve, I had a pretty bad hangover… for the next three days. I decided that I was going to give drinking a break, for at least a year. It wasn’t going to be easy, but circumstances seemed to work in my favour. I’m so grateful that my girlfriend decided to do it with me- without my partner in crime, I don’t know how long I would have lasted. Another huge help was Covid. With all the lockdowns and restrictions, there were fewer events to go to, and therefore fewer events I would have to attend sober, while everyone else drank. With all that help, I lasted a year, and I couldn’t be happier for it.
Coming out the other side my perspective has completely shifted, and I don’t see myself drinking anytime soon. My weekends feel full and I can do whatever I feel like, there’s no cancelling on people due to a hangover, or lying on the couch all day. My thinking is clearer, and I feel more motivated to do things I set my mind to. When I removed alcohol from the equation, it freed up a whole chunk of time that used to be allocated towards drinking and its after-effects. Although this may be the case for most people during Covid, accepting that I wouldn’t be returning to drinking when the bars and clubs open up enabled me to really give other things a go.
I’ve freed up space to concentrate on things I was neglecting. I’ve realised that friendships don’t rely on alcohol and my friends respect my decision. I used to rely on drinking as a social crutch, and I wouldn’t say that I’m completely competent out there on my own yet, but I’m learning and getting used to conversations without the social lubricant. It’s interesting how I used to think that I wouldn’t be able to cope without it and how I didn’t think I’d come across as interesting, especially when meeting new people. Although these thoughts still arise, not having the alcohol to fall back on has pushed me to work on these issues. If I don’t think I’m interesting enough, then I should read more and learn about different things to talk about. If I’m struggling to hold a conversation or make small talk, I can concentrate on body language and coming across as a confident open person.
Things have begun to change and I’m optimistic. If James Swanwick’s article in the Entrepreneur is anything to go by, then I am welcoming the changes with open arms. He experienced similar changes, like his persuasion, social skills and habits improving. He also made new friends and contacts which I hope to do through videography and more so when the restrictions are relaxed. He mentioned celebrating differently, which is something I am yet to experience, and his health. I have started to think about different ways to celebrate occasions, and I have felt the obvious improvement in my overall health too.
This is not to say that I have anything against alcohol, and I see the joy it brings people. We are social beings and we heavily rely on these interactions to go about our lives. I’ve just realised that it was hindering my progress to learn new things about the world and myself and I’m able to get my fix of social interaction without the booze. The main thing that has come of this, is I am now aware of the reliance I used to have on it and parts of myself that were not established enough because of this crutch. This isn’t the case for many people and some are fully functioning successful people who enjoy drinking. On the other side of the coin are the people from One Year No Beer who have achieved more without it. I hope to be one of those people.
