White Fragility

I recently read the book White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard For White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo and began thinking about whether I should write a post about it. The reason why I was thinking twice, was that it may offend people or people may take it the wrong way. By people, I mean white people. But I realized, as taught to me by the book, me not writing something about it for those reasons would be giving in to my own white fragility when addressing race. It makes white people feel uncomfortable and so it is never discussed in depth. Although this book is written by an American about the United States, I found many, if not all, of her points to be applicable to my home country South Africa. I’m going to try and highlight the main points of the book, but I feel it is necessary for every white person to read it. The book covers any counter-argument you may have and if you do find yourself feeling “triggered”, ask yourself why you feel that way. Progress can be made beyond the defence mechanisms.

The challenges of talking to white people about race are that we don’t see ourselves in racial terms. I grew up in a white environment and wasn’t made aware of my race. It has never affected me in any way and so being seen racially tends to trigger white people as they aren’t used to it. We have an uninformed simplistic opinion and understanding about race. When honest and open conversations about race begin, white fragility emerges. These are reactions of silence, defensiveness, argumentation, certitude, and other forms of pushback. I was called out on my prejudices and justifications and I hope it does the same to those who decide to read it.

The Good/Bad Binary is an eye-opening chapter in the book that discusses a white person’s view on racism. Below the chapter heading the words “He’s not a racist. He’s a really nice guy” is written. I’ve heard this phrase, or many like it, used frequently. The problem is that racism isn’t one or the other, you aren’t either racist or simply not racist. It is far more nuanced than that, but when we think about “racists”, we think of outspoken intentional racists and see that as the definition. If we aren’t like them then we can’t be racist, but that’s not how it works, and this thinking has made it harder to address the problem. If we can’t discuss the issues and instances of racism that occur every day, then we can’t make progress. If we compare ourselves to the people who performed lynchings, then we see no need to learn and address the problem. African American scholar and filmmaker Omowale Akintunde says:

“Racism is systemic, societal, institutional, omnipresent, and epistemologically embedded phenomenon that pervades every vestige of our reality. For most whites, however, racism is like murder: the concept exists, but someone has to commit it in order for it to happen. This limited view of such a multi-layered syndrome cultivates the sinister culture of racism and, in fact, perpetuates racist phenomena rather than eradicates them.”

There are many statements made by white people to “prove” that they are not racist. These statements stem from the good/bad binary and the first set are referred to as Colour-blind claims:

• I was taught to treat everyone the same.
• I don’t see colour.
• I don’t care if you’re pink, purple or polka-dotted.
• Race doesn’t have any meaning to me.
• My parents were/weren’t racist, so that is why I’m not racist.
• Everyone struggles, but if you work hard…
• So-and-so just happens to be black, but that has nothing to do with what I am about to tell you.
• Focussing on race is what divides us.
• If people are respectful to me, I am respectful to them, regardless of race.
• Children today are so much more open.
• I was picked on because I was white/I grew up poor (So I don’t have race privilege).

The second set is called colour-celebrate:

• I work in a very diverse environment.
• I have people of colour in my family/married a person of colour/have children of colour.
• I was in the military.
• I used to live in (any racially diverse place).
• We don’t like how white our neighbourhood is, but we had to move here for the schools.
• I was in Peace Corps.
• I marched in the sixties.
• We adopted a child from China.
• Our grandchildren are multiracial.
• I was on a mission in Africa.
• I went to a very diverse school/lived in a very diverse neighbourhood.
• I lived in Japan and was a minority, so I know what it is like to be a minority.
• I lived among the [fill-in-the-blank] people, so I am actually a person of colour.

These statements are all meant to prove that the speaker is not racist. If this is their evidence, then what is their definition of racism? Thinking that statements like these help prove our case just means that no progress has been made and no more progress will be made if we don’t realise that there’s a problem. They show that we’ve already justified to ourselves that we aren’t racist so what’s the point in hearing people of colour out. This is an ongoing discussion where white people need to be willing to listen and not get defensive if a person of colour points out something they said to be racist.

The author is a consultant and trainer of racial awareness in the workplace and throughout her book, she gives examples of when white fragility occurred during her training sessions. The workshops help improve racial awareness between employees and during the discussion a white person may say something racially offensive without knowing. The author then has to point this out as best as she can without disrupting the group. This is harder than it seems because pointing this out to a white person can disrupt the whole workshop and halt the learning of everyone involved. The reason this could happen is that a white person can break down and get defensive after their racism is pointed out. If this leads to tears, then people tend to comfort them. This draws all of the attention to the crying person, away from the person of colour who was offended by the statement. This kind of thing happens in many examples and shows the sense of entitlement that some white people may have.

A great example that I could really relate to, was one about the movie The Blind Side. It’s a movie about an African American, Michael Oher, who gets taken in by a white family due to his impoverished circumstance at home. He goes on to become an NFL player, all thanks to this white family coming to the rescue. Many racial narratives are reinscribed in the film and it is made clear that “the only way Oher could be saved from the terrors of his own black community is through the benevolence and bravery of a white family.” This film is told from a white perspective and reinforces many dominant ideologies:

• White people are the saviours of black people.
• Some black children may be innocent, but black adults are morally and criminally corrupt.
• Whites who are willing to save or otherwise help black people, at seemingly great personal cost, are noble, courageous, and morally superior to other whites.
• Individual black people can overcome their circumstances, but usually only with the help of white people.
• Black neighbourhoods are inherently dangerous and criminal.
• Virtually all black people are poor, incompetent, and unqualified for their jobs; they belong to gangs, are addicted to drugs, and are bad parents.
• The most dependable route for black males to escape the “the inner city” is through sports.
• White people are willing to deal with individual “deserving” black people, but whites do not become a part of the black community in any meaningful way (beyond charity work).

It is important for white people to become aware of these mainstream narratives, as passively viewing them can enforce them and make it harder to change the way we think.

There are so many important points raised in the book, but the last one I will mention is the functions of white fragility. If we aren’t willing to call other white people out and make an effort to learn more, then white fragility:

• Maintains white solidarity
• Closes off self-reflection
• Trivializes the reality of racism
• Silences the discussion
• Makes white people the victim
• Hijacks the conversation
• Protects a limited worldview
• Takes race off the table
• Protects white privilege
• Focusses on the messenger, not the message
• Rallies more resources to white people

Unknowingly enforcing these functions of white fragility halts progress and as a white person, I am responsible to make more of an effort.

The author refers to herself as being on a continuum. Racism is so deeply woven into our society that she doesn’t see herself escaping the continuum in her lifetime. This is said by a person who is already more racially aware than most white people and she is actively seeking to interrupt racism in this context. I think it is only fair that I do the same. I need to continue my education on the topic and make an effort to point out white fragility and privilege when I notice it. I barely scraped the surface of what the book covers, and I would strongly encourage every white person to read it.